We all have goals we genuinely want to accomplish – lose weight, save more money, earn that promotion. Yet despite our good intentions, we often unconsciously sabotage our own efforts to achieve them. Why do we self-sabotage? How can we break this frustrating pattern? If you’re someone who constantly is self sabotaging, this article will go over what you could do about it.
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What To Do If You Constantly Self Sabotage
We reached out to Ronald Hoang, a renowned clinical counselor and psychotherapist, for his expert insights on this topic.
Ronald explained to us that, “Self-sabotage is fundamentally about avoiding negative feelings. We compromise our efforts because the journey becomes overwhelming or the fear of what lies beyond success scares us.” This avoidance behavior is often rooted in a fear of failure. “Instead of facing the possibility of a mistake or failure, we sabotage our own process. This way, failure is never an option, and we don’t have to confront that possibility,”.
His advice doesn’t just stop at identifying the problem. Ronald offers a strategy for overcoming these barriers: “We need to reframe our perception of negative feelings. Failure should be seen as feedback, not as a reflection of our self-worth.” He emphasizes the importance of aligning our goals with our identity, values, and beliefs. “Improvement is temporary until it becomes part of who you are,” he states.
Understanding these dynamics can be a game changer in how we approach our goals.
Below are some things you could do in order to further fight sabotaging your success.
Know That No One Is Perfect- Stop Wasting Time Trying To Be
People also self-sabotage by waiting for the right time, or waiting to be the very best they possibly can, to get started on their goals. This pursuit of perfection often leads to a cycle of procrastination and missed opportunities, as the ideal moment or state of readiness may never come. It’s important to recognize that progress, not perfection, is the key to achieving our objectives and to start taking action, however imperfect, towards our goals.
Break Your Goals Down: More Specific Tasks Give You Less Of An Excuse
If you stare at a mountain, looking to climb it, instead of planning the steps to reach the peak, it can seem overwhelming and insurmountable. By breaking your goals down into more specific, manageable tasks, you give yourself less room for excuses. It’s like planning a route up the mountain, one foothold at a time. This approach makes each step more achievable and less daunting.
Increase Your Mindfulness
Sometimes people self sabotage solely based on their habits. Increasing your mindfulness can play a crucial role in overcoming self-sabotage, especially when it stems from ingrained habits. Mindfulness involves being fully present and aware of our thoughts, feelings, and actions in the moment. By cultivating mindfulness, you can become more conscious of the habitual patterns that lead to self-sabotage.
For example, you may go on social media way too much without being even aware how much it’s detracting from your productivity and focus. Mindfulness can help you become more aware of how often you reach for your phone and the impact this has on your goals.
Use a Journal To Document Your Feelings
Lastly, using a journal could also be helpful. This is because a lot of our self sabotaging comes from subconscious behaviors. Lastly, using a journal could also be helpful. This is because a lot of our self-sabotaging comes from subconscious behaviors. By documenting your feelings and actions in a journal, you create an opportunity to reflect and gain insights into these subconscious patterns. Writing down your thoughts and experiences can help you identify specific situations or emotions that trigger self-sabotaging behavior.
Conclusion
Self sabotage is no fun. But, if you follow the steps above, it will give you a better chance of overcoming those tendencies and achieving your goals.
