I was the guy who stared at the wall throughout most of my 20’s wondering why I had no idea what I wanted to do.
I would think, “What is my purpose?”.
I always thought I was one of the only people who went through this problem, but as I grew older and spoke to more people, I realized that this is a common struggle.
Many people go far into adulthood without a clear goal or direction in life.
But the good news is, it’s never too late to find your purpose and stop drifting.
After thinking about my own experiences, along with some research, I have come up with some tips on how to stop drifting in life without a goal.
Before I get started, consider subscribing to my newsletter self-development snack. It’s where I go over different self-development quotes, resources, and more.
Figure Out Your Fears First
A lot of people actually know what they should be doing, but don’t take action simply because of the fact that they are afraid.
If this is you, be honest with yourself and do whatever it takes to work through that fear.
Whether it’s therapy, talking to a trusted friend or just facing your fears head-on, addressing your fears is the first step towards finding your purpose.
Some of us have fears deeply rooted in our subconscious from childhood traumas or past failures.
But once these fears are identified and addressed, you will feel more confident and ready to take on new challenges toward finding your purpose.
I had anxiety in my early 20’s and it stopped me from doing anything that could potentially lead me towards my goals. I had to address that before I could even begin to figure out what my goals were.
Stop Thinking That The First Choice Has To Be Your Calling
The main reason I sat around and thought was because I thought I had to figure out what my calling was.
In life, we don’t have one true calling. The sooner we realize this, the easier it becomes to stop drifting.
Instead of focusing on finding your one true calling, focus on exploring different areas and trying new things.
What may feel like your calling when you’re 22, may be completely different when you’re 35.
Give yourself permission to change and evolve.
The key is to choose something. I’m sure you have a couple of different ideas. If it becomes really hard, pick out of a hat and have that be your choice.
Regardless if you like it or not, it will set you up for the next step in finding out what you’re strengths are.
Forget All Expectations Others Set On You
When you think about what other people expect or want from you, it can cloud your judgment and make it difficult to decide for yourself.
It’s important to remember that this is YOUR life and you are the one who will be living with the consequences of your choices.
Having other people’s expectations of you be involved in your decision-making process will ultimately lead to dissatisfaction and a sense of drifting.
So try to let go of those expectations and focus on what truly makes YOU happy.
A lot of people spend their 20s trying to figure things out simply because their mom wanted them to be a doctor or their dad wanted them to be a lawyer, when deep down that may not be what they truly want.
Stop Seeking Comfort In Distractions
One of the biggest reasons we drift is because we are constantly seeking comfort in distractions.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of binge-watching TV shows, scrolling through social media for hours, or even just mindlessly surfing the internet.
But these distractions only provide temporary relief and can prevent us from facing our fears and taking action toward our goals.
Set Process Goals And Not Just Outcome Goals
If you tried to climb Mt. Everest without mapping everything out, you would probably never make it to the summit.
Similarly, if we only focus on the end goal without setting smaller process goals along the way, we can lose sight of our progress and feel overwhelmed.
Being overwhelmed in this fashion could cause us to scrap our goals altogether leading back to the dreaded drifting state.
Instead, break your larger goals into smaller, achievable process goals that will not only make your end goal more attainable but also keep you motivated along the way.
Practice Constant Self-Reflection
The best way to make sure you never go back to the “drifting” stage is by practicing constant self-reflection.
By doing constant self-reflection, keeps you from getting back to that clueless stage by helping you identify areas of growth. If you’re constantly seeing where you could grow, you’ll be more likely to act upon it.
Also, we are not always going to be successful, self-reflection through failure could help us learn and correct our path. If we don’t do this, we will get discouraged, revert to our drifting ways, and miss out on potential growth opportunities.
Here’s what I do to reflect daily:
- I start by writing down how I’m feeling in the morning.
- I write what I’m grateful for to keep a positive mindset.
- I write down my goals for that day.
- At the end of the day, I write notes on how I did and what I can improve on.
- Based on my reflection, I make adjustments to my daily routine and goals for the next day.
I also keep a secondary journal to write out all my ideas and thoughts throughout the day. This helps me get out some bigger ideas that I may want to take action on later.
Exercise On a Regular Basis
Exercise has so many benefits to get you out of the aimless state. Not only does it improve physical health, but it also boosts mental health and can provide an outlet for stress and negative emotions. Here are all of the reasons you should exercise if you feel you are “drifting”:
- Exercise improves your mood and self-esteem.
- It helps with managing stress and anxiety.
- It helps create a structure and routine in your day.
- It can provide a sense of accomplishment and progress which carries over to other areas of life.
- It can improve cognitive function and creativity.
- It can help with sleep quality and overall energy levels.
- It can serve as a healthy coping mechanism for negative emotions or boredom.
I started running about a year and a half ago and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I’ve noticed that my overall discipline has gone through the roof and I’ve become more focused and driven in all areas of my life.
Build Skills & Learn In Your Extra Time
One way to never be stuck again is by educating yourself and building new skills. Whether it’s taking online courses, attending workshops, or reading books on a specific topic, learning something new can open up opportunities and give you a sense of purpose.
I try to learn about different side hustles and skills on a regular basis because if what I’m doing now disappears, I will be well-equipped with a handful of skills to help me continue pursuing my goals. Plus, learning something new is always exciting and can keep our creative juices flowing.
A lot of the ideas I get for content stem from reading different books or listening to podcasts.
