How to Set Goals That Don’t Make You Miserable

Have you ever set a goal to lose weight, cut a lot of calories out of your diet, only to eventually be miserable and give up? Have you ever wanted to make more money, picked up an extra job, only to find out that it wasn’t worth the extra stress? If so, you may have realized that setting goals can be a tricky business.

Start with Your Values

The first thing she stated was, “Before setting any goals, take some time to identify your core values.” – Yanira Puy

Setting goals that don’t align with our values could easily lead to burnout and feeling unfulfilled. On the other hand, setting goals that align with your core values keeps you motivated to keep going. And although self-discipline is more important than motivation, sometimes motivation is the key to getting started and staying on track. Some values you could align your goals with include:

• Family and relationships
• Health and wellness
• Creativity and self-expression
• Learning and personal growth
• Community and social impact
• Financial security and stability
• Adventure and exploration
• Spirituality and inner peace
• Integrity and authenticity

Taking our values into consideration before setting goals has many benefits including:

1. Less likely to give up in the face of any setbacks
2. Better decision making skills, due to the fact that you will be basing them on your values
3. Increased self discipline to the fact that doing the work is easier when you have meaning behind it
4. You are more likely to be happier in all aspects of life

Here are the first steps you should consider before setting any goals.

Set Realistic Goals

The second point she brought up is that, “It’s important to set goals that are challenging yet achievable.” – Yanira Puy

Setting realistic goals could help improve your confidence by ensuring that you are capable of achieving them. Setting goals that are too big and that you’re likely to fail will make you feel as if you are constantly running in circles and can lead to feelings of discouragement. There are many other benefits when it comes to setting realistic goals, if you’re interested in that topic check out this blog post!

Instead, Yanira suggests that you set smaller goals that will help you achieve your larger goal. Break down the bigger goal into manageable chunks or objectives.

When you do this, it’s hard to become miserable due to the fact that you always feel as if you’re progressing.

Focus on the Process, Not Just the Outcome

“Goals are not just about achieving a specific outcome, but also about the process of working towards that outcome.” – Yanira Puy

When setting goals, many people harp over the results. For example if you start a YouTube Chanel, post two videos and obsess over the results, you will be setting yourself up for failure. Two videos in the grand scheme of things is absolutely nothing.

By focusing on the process instead, it will enable you to get better at the skill you’re trying to acquire, which in the end will help you achieve better results.

So back to the YouTube example. If you focus on completing 1 video per week by the end of the year, and don’t focus on the results, you will end up being a much better video creator. You will also learn how to find better topics, make better thumbnails, think of ways to optimize your videos for SEO, and so on.

With my blogging journey, it took me 150 blog posts to make my first dollar. If I didn’t focus solely on the process and only on the results, I would’ve quit way before that 150 post mark.

As you could see by my examples, focusing on the process of working towards a goal can help us avoid feeling miserable and find joy in the learning and growing process.

Consider the Trade-offs

“When setting goals, it’s important to consider the trade-offs involved.” – Yanira Puy

For every category of life, when we set a new goal, there’s always trade off’s involved. Yanira advises that we consider the trade-offs before pursuing new goals.

If you set multiple goals without considering the trade offs, you could easily become miserable because so many of those goals conflict with each other.

For example, if you want to start a side business, and you also have a goal set to save money. That side business may need some financial investment to start and run, which could conflict with your goal of saving money.

By considering these trade offs, you will be able to make informed decisions which will lead to you not feeling as if you are constantly going in circles (miserable).

Be Flexible and Adaptable

“Be open to adjusting your goals as needed, and don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t go according to plan.” – Yanira Puy

Last but not least, you need to be flexible and adaptable when it comes to your goals. Things don’t always go according to plan, and life tends to throw curve balls at us when we least expect it.

In order to avoid regret in the long run, you need to have systems of self reflection in place that allow you to change the goals according to changes in circumstances.

This is an excellent point by Yanira, and I will use my own example once again. The blogging industry changes every single day. Google changes things frequently which makes me have to adjust my goals as needed.

If you ignore this aspect of your goals, becoming miserable is actually the most likely outcome.

Conclusion

Setting goals that don’t make you miserable takes some hard work, but it’s definitely possible. You just need to keep your values in mind, set realistic goals, focus on the process, consider the trade-offs of each goal you set, and last but not least be ready to adjust when necessary.

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