I know first hand how it feels being stuck in the goal setting dilemma. The confusion can be paralyzing.
I used to stare at the wall and think about what my life calling is all day long.
You may be wondering why you’re facing this issue, but there is a way out for sure.
Below we’re going to take a dive into why you are confused when it comes to setting goals and also what you could do to move forward.
We Think That Goals Are Permanent
In my early 20’s I always thought that whatever I chose as my goals had to be permanent.
However, goals don’t have to be permanent at all.
Through making choices, you will realize your strengths and weaknesses, which will ultimately lead you to what you’re the best at.
So, definitely don’t stare at the wall trying to choose a goal that’s perfect for you.
Living Based on Others’ Opinions and Needs
One of the biggest barriers to clear goal-setting can be living according to others’ opinions and needs.
Does this sound like you?
Do you find yourself constantly trying to please others or meet societal expectations? Are your goals a reflection of what others think you should do, rather than what you genuinely want?
If that’s the case, it’s no wonder goal-setting feels like a puzzle you can’t solve. You’re essentially trying to navigate someone else’s map, not your own.
The solution?
Start reclaiming your life.
Embrace the fact that it’s okay to disappoint others if it means staying true to yourself.
Begin to value your desires, your dreams, your passions. Set goals that align with your values and ignite your passion.
Trust me, it’s a game-changer. It’s like wiping the fog off your glasses and seeing clearly for the first time.
Remember, it’s your journey. Don’t let others dictate your direction. You hold the power to design your path and reach your unique potential.
You Don’t Believe You’re Capable
It’s common to be confused about setting goals when you don’t believe you’re capable of achieving them.
This can happen when you’re stuck in a negative thought loop, telling yourself stories like “you’re not good enough” or “you don’t have what it takes”.
The key is to set small goals, no matter how small in order to build up your confidence. Eventually, you’ll believe that no goal for you is out of reach.
You Need To Understand Your Core Values
To deepen our understanding, we reached out to an expert in the field. Katie Pancione, Owner and Resident Counselor at NOVA Mental Health Counseling, shared some valuable insights with us for this article.
According to Pancione, “Everyone has five core needs—Love, Acceptance, Value, Security, and Adequacy. If you cannot define how all 5 of these can be met on a personal level, then it makes sense that you struggle with establishing goals. It would be best if you had a deep understanding of your core values to create goals that are motivating to who you are.”
Pancione’s insight underscores the importance of self-awareness in goal-setting. You must understand your core needs and values to set goals that truly resonate with you. This will get rid of the confusion that comes over you when thinking about your potential goals.
To explain further, let’s consider each of the core needs Pancione mentioned:
- Love: This refers to feeling loved and cared for. When you set goals that align with this need, they often involve building meaningful relationships or contributing positively to the lives of others.
- Acceptance: This refers to feeling accepted for who you are. Goals that align with this need often involve personal growth and self-improvement.
- Value: This refers to feeling useful and important. Goals that align with this need might involve making significant contributions to your community or excelling in your chosen field.
- Security: This refers to feeling safe and secure. Goals that align with this need often involve achieving financial stability or creating a safe and nurturing environment.
- Adequacy: This refers to feeling competent and capable. Goals that align with this need often involve personal development or mastering a new skill.
What Can You Do To Move Forward?
There are a couple things that make it easier for you time move forward and get rid of this annoying confusion.
Just Choose Your Goals
The most important thing is to choose. All the goals that were hanging in the back of your head, choose one of those.
The sooner you choose, whether the thing you choose is for you or not, it will move you to the right direction.
The one thing you need to definitely keep in mind is that almost everything you could go after will be hard and annoying in some aspects.
Don’t give up from that.
Only change up what you’re doing when you’ve evaluated heavily that something will be a much better option for you.
Get Hobbies & Learn Other Things
Always learn and pick up new hobbies. This will teach you about yourself and help find what you are truly passionate about.
Conclusion
In conclusion, confusion about setting goals in life is a common experience, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent state. Recognize that goals can change as you grow, and they should be a reflection of your desires, not someone else’s. Understand that you are capable, and your capacity expands as you set and achieve smaller goals. Align your goals with your core needs for love, acceptance, value, security, and adequacy, and you’ll find they become more meaningful and motivating. Remember, the choice is yours. Make a decision, take the first step, and commit to the journey. It’s okay to re-evaluate and adjust your goals along the way. Overcoming the initial paralysis of confusion is the first step towards a life led with purpose and conviction. Your goals are your compass, guiding you towards the life you aspire to live.